Holiday conversation icebreakers

I get e-mails... part I

Published on November 13, 2003 By rvrfhsiahskfhghia In Misc

Spam sucks, but sometimes you get something that is just mind-blowingly horrible and funny that you have to share.
This came to a friend of mine this afternoon.

Story Idea: Holiday Ice Breakers

Debra Fine, author The Fine Art of Small Talk, provides her top-ten ice
breakers everyone can use to turn holiday get-togethers into opportunities
for sharing, caring, and warmth:

1. "What is your connection to the host/hostess or organization?"
2. "What do you enjoy the most about this time/season of the year?"
3. "Describe how this season of the year impacts your work/life?"
4. "Bring me up to date about your life/work/family since the last time we
got together..."
5. “Tell me about your plans for the holidays...”
6. “Describe your favorite holiday tradition...”
7. “What challenges do you encounter at this time of year?”
8. “Tell me about a special gift you have given or received?”
9. “What is your favorite holiday? Why?
10. “Tell me about some plans your have for the upcoming year…”

Also, she provides five guaranteed conversation killers:

1. "Are you married?" or "Do you have any kids?" Where are you going with
either one of these if the response is "No"?
2. "How's your job as the Governor of California or at United Airlines,
Martha Stewart Enterprises or fill in the blank?" Unless you know a person
well, assume nothing! Don't put them on the spot like that. Instead ask:
"What's been going on with work?"
3. "How's your wife?" (She left, took the money, the kids and the got the
house!)
4. "Merry Christmas!" "What are your Christmas plans?" Not all of us
celebrate Christmas.
5. At all costs avoid “Is that real?” “Are those real?”

Author Bio: Debra Fine

Debra Fine, a former engineer, is now nationally recognized as a speaker and
trainer. She regularly holds her SmallTalk programs for organizations such
as IBM, Wells Fargo Banks, the Junior League, the U.S. Treasury Department,
and hundreds of other associations and organizations. She’s based in
Englewood, Colorado. She’s currently available for interviews, and her book
is available for review.

OK, really. Would anyone honestly ask those 10 questions? At the very least, they're creepy. At most, obscenly boring and stuffy... Who talks like that? And if you are asked one of these questions from someone trying to mingle at a holiday party, would you answer them? Or gingerly try to get away as fast as possible?
Ugh... I need to talk to my IT guy about the SPAM filter...
©2003 B&B Artists

Comments

CariElf

on Nov 13, 2003

Agreed. Those questions sound like an interview.

Not sure what I would do if someone started interviewing me at a holiday party.

Also, maybe it's just in the geek in me, but I can't help associate SmallTalk with programming.

JillUser

on Nov 13, 2003

I'm not a fan of small talk either. I guess I don't go to many parties where I don't know enough about the people to at least know I can safely say, "So, what are your plans for Christmas?" Talk about PC to the max! I wouldn't want to be at a party if I had to talk like that.

WhizGidget

on Nov 13, 2003

Creepy is right. And Cari had it down - it sounds like a surreal interview. And I would be trying to get away from them as soon as possible if someone started asking me questions like that.

After all, I've learned from my mistakes about mingling and being nice to people who ask dry and uninteresting questions? Can we say Otis?

I like more interesting individuals who say "Hi, I'm so-and-so, and I'm not a stalker"

JeremyG

on Nov 14, 2003

1. "What is your connection to the host/hostess or organization?"

I actually use this one. But actually possesing social skills I say it much differently. usually "So who are you?" This sounds rude and sometimes makes someone a little uncomfortable. From there I know if they're uptight or not and take it from there.

CariElf

on Nov 14, 2003

If I'm ever in a situation where I don't know a lot of people, I'll go up to someone and introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Cari Begle. I'm Esther's sister-in-law."

That's the other person's cue to say, "I'm Diane, my daughter goes to pre-school with Elizabeth", (Elizabeth being my niece and Diane being a ficticious person) or something like that.

By offering information, you can use it to build a conversation, unless the person is just a stick when it comes to conversation. Women also have the added advantage of being able to say something like, "I love that sweater; where did you get it?" Similarly, men can talk about sports. It's inane, but if you're that desperate for starting a conversation, it gives you a place to start.

hdblue

on Apr 05, 2011

Hi,

Thanks very much for this comment. It help me to think about my ideals.

We also find them more same at: Wells fargo interview questions

Tks again and pls keep posting.

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